Because- Holy Crap!

I can't believe it's not Linkin Park lyrics!

I'll post the lyrics, then let out my problems.

Empty Space - Lifehouse

Too late to hide And too tired to care Take what you’ve left And forget the rest Take what you see Of what’s left of me You know where I’ve been And I don’t want to go there again

You’re beautiful You’re confusing You’re illogical You’re amazing And I’ve seen the world It’s overrated Until you’re everything I have nothing But empty space

I’ve been down This road before All that I’ve found Points me right back to you And I’ve watch you move From down below Where do I go from here I guess I’ll find out as I go

You’re beautiful You’re confusing You’re illogical You’re amazing And I’ve seen the world It’s overrated Until you’re everything I have nothing But empty space

You’re beautiful You’re confusing You’re illogical You’re amazing And I’ve seen the world It’s overrated Until you’re everything I have nothing Until you’re everything I have nothing But an empty space

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Those lyrics describe exactly how I feel. I got on LW and saw 1 friend online. It was Shannyn. 1 minute active. It came back again. I'm still not ready. Not for a long time. I want to talk to her. More than anything. I want to be there for her. But not on Livewire. MSN, maybe, if I think I'm ready. But even when she's online on LW, I can't be on. I don't want to fall back in to old patterns. I know she cares about me. I know she sees me as a good friend. So why does this hurt so much? Why can't I let the pain go? Why can't I move on?

I don't know.I don't want her to be my everything. I want to move on. She's not my everything. I can not think about her for a whole day. But the loneliness lingers. I can not be lonely for a whole day. But then on some days it's both. I wish this were easier. I still love her. But I haven't spoken to her for what feels like a long time. I don't want to love her this way any more. It's not fair on her. It's not fair on me.

It's not.

 

Erebus Pursue the Darkness

Posted via web from Erebus's posterous