But after falling asleep while writing it multipe times (due to sleep deprivation), I just couldn't be fucked.
It basically outlined depression and what I saw it as, before I was going to go into last nights dinner, but now... I really can't be bothered. I guess now is as appropriate as any time to post the new song with lyrics that basically describes exactly how I feel right now. So here goes.
Monster - Skillet
The secret side of me, I never let you see
I keep it caged but I can't control it
So stay away from me, the beast is ugly
I feel the rage and I just can't hold it
It's scratching on the walls, in the closet, in the halls
It comes awake and I can't control it
Hiding under the bed, in my body, in my head
Why won't somebody come and save me from this, make it end?
I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster
My secret side I keep hid under lock and key
I keep it caged but I can't control it
'Cause if I let him out he'll tear me up, break me down
Why won't somebody come and save me from this, make it end?
I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster
It's hiding in the dark, it's teeth are razor sharp
There's no escape for me, it wants my soul, it wants my heart
No one can hear me scream, maybe it's just a dream
Maybe it's inside of me, stop this monster
I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I've gotta lose control, he something radical
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster
I can't control the monster. But I also can't keep it caged. It breaks free. Frequently.
And always at the worst possible times. I was having a wonderful time messing around with my best friend. Having fun. And then suddenly, I started to drop. I could feel it coming. So I tried to cheer myself up by making jokes, but to no avail.
So here I am. About 2 hours later, lying in the dark, pouring my soul to the internet.
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The reason for the downfall? I am a bitch. I am a pussy. I am a wimp and I cannot fight back. I want to fight back, but I get scared. Why? Because I am weak.
I am weak. I am a coward. I am meek, timid, indesicive and spineless.
Sometimes I honestly believe the world would be better off with one less person like me. But I can't do it. I can never do it.
For the very reasons I want to go, I can't. I am weak. I am a coward. I am meek, timid, indesicive and spineless. The never ending circle of irony.
Guess I'm stuck here.
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Erebus
Pursue the Darkness
