The truth comes out.

I hate not knowing.
What's going to happen to me?
What's going to happen to Linh?
What's going to happen to my friends?
What's going to happen to Shannyn?
Christ, what's going to happen to Shannyn?
She only has two months left with her mum before the cancer finishes her off.
I'm just terrified for her.

I hate not knowing what's going to happen.
I'm absolutely terrified of not knowing what's going to happen, not only to me, but to my friends. I'm just so confused.

Posted via web from Erebus's posterous

Will I ever be ready?

I do love her. With all my heart. All my soul. All my everything.

 I would give her the world. Tear down buildings. Rip out the core of the earth with my barehands, if I had to, just to prove my love for her.

 But I can't sit by and watch these things happen to her. I can't sit from a distance. I guess I have to be there for her, as much as I love her. I have to sit there and be her friend, doing my best not to add more pressure, and control my jealousy for the good of both our friendship, and my hope that one day she will come around and want to be with me.
I'm not going to hold onto that forever, though. I'm going to search for someone else as much as I can. She deserves the best. If she doesn't see me as the best, then I'd rather make an effort to be her friend and have a potential relationship at some point in the future than not trying at all.

 I guess we'll see.

 -------
Erebus
Pursue the Darkness

Posted via email from Erebus's posterous

Important realisation

How is it possible that it can come to this?

 I've now realised a very important fact.

 I fall in love with girls who are... somewhat out of my league.

 Not only that, but I fall in love with girls who are beautiful and intelligent enough to have any man they want.

 It's no wonder I won't be chosen. Not for a long time.

 I've found the woman of my dreams, whom I shall always love, but she needs me to be something else. I can only hold on to the hope that she will give me another chance when I get better.

 -----

 Erebus
Pursue the Darkness

Posted via email from Erebus's posterous