Sunday, September 27, 2009

So many things that can go wrong.

There's so many things that can go wrong with a person. Let's take a quick look at me.

I am:
- Neurotic
- Paranoid
- Obsessive
- Posessive
- Depressive
- Weak
- Self-centered
- Self-absorbed
- Selfish

And I'm doing this all for pity, so I guess we should add that up there.

I walked away. I tried to walk away. I lasted less than 12 hours. I went back. And now...

Now let's look at what I'm worried about right this second:
- What if she likes him better than me?
- What if she prefers him to me?
- What if she never speaks to me again?
- What if she forgets about me?
- What if they made it official?
- Would there be any point in me going up to Darwin to "sweep her off her feet"?
- Did I ever have any real chance with her?
- Do I still have any real chance with her?
- Toay we spoke about our "relationship...
- Was that just a joke?
- Did I take more seriously than her?
- Do I take it too seriously?
- Is she just messing with me?
- She acts like she loves me.
- She tells me she cares.
- She doesn't want to hurt me.
- Why does this happen, regardless?

And yet...

We all have our outlets.

I just never realised what I had to do to calm down. To feel better.

But I feel better now. I just hope it lasts. And I don't have to do it every time I feel like this.

But if I do, it's not hurting anybody. I hope it's not hurting anybody.

I guess we'll just have to see.

Posted via web from Erebus's posterous