Friday, October 9, 2009

Bitch, whore, fucking skank!

Every other obscenity I can scream at her to make her hurt, the way I hurt. It won't have any effect. She doesn't care. For all I know, she never cared.

I always blamed myself. If something was wrong with her, it was my fault. If she felt bad, I did something wrong. If she didn't feel like talking, I did something wrong. If ever there was any problem, it was my fault. I see the truth now.

It wasn't my fault. It was hers. She's either too blind or stupid to know a good thing when she has it. I loved her. I love her. But she didn't care. She treated me like dirt. Worse than dirt. She made me feel the way nobody should ever have to feel. She betrayed me.

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And now: a song dedicated to her.

Should've When You Could've - Skillet

I'm done wondering where you've been
All night long when you're out with your friends
All you say, that the matter's over
But now that chapter's over
I'm done trusting you it's ended
Even after I catch you red handed
You could've been my only one
But now your chance is gone

You should've when you could've
You're gonna miss my love, girl
You should, it would've been so good
You should've when I would've
Now I know I've had enough
Better luck next time, girl
You should, it would've been so good

I'm done chasing you all over
May as well be chasing after thunder
Play hard to get if it makes you happy
For a change now you can start chasing me
Don't cry cause I ain't your sure thing
It ain't my fault you don't know a good thing
You could've been my only one
But now your chance is gone

Don't you understand
Don't wanna be your backup plan
Now I won't be here to clean up when it hits the fan
You tried to keep me on your leash
It's time you started chasing me

I'm done acting like I won't be
Sitting here still wishing you wanted me
Don't say that I never told you
Take some advice from somebody who knows

You should've when you could've
You're gonna miss my love, girl
You should, it would've been so good
You should've when I would've
Now I know I've had enough
Better luck next time, girl
You should, it would've been so good

You should've when you could've
You're gonna miss my love, girl
You should, it would've been so good

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I found this song to be completely relevant. Not just the chorus, or the verses, but the entire song. -----

On a lighter note - I finally got a phone that works. It's a shitty $49 Nokia something, but it makes and receives phone calls and sends and receives SMS. Which is more than my old phone could do.

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Also, Sarah is coming over tonight (I hope). We're going to work on Busman stuff, even though my final SAC is today. It doesn't matter. It'll be good to just watch some movies and get drunk with her.

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I'm tired as fuck now. So I'll take a nap for the next 30 mins or so and see if I can feel better afterwards. Before going to class.

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Erebus
Pursue the Darkness

Posted via email from Erebus's posterous