But the happiness I was in earlier today is gone, once again. I know how much all of you enjoy hearing about an emotionally unstable, depressing 17 year old, so I won't let you all down.
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The loneliness has returned. The incredible pain of having no one. I know what it is. I know why. It's not her fault. I can't help it and niether can she. She's attractive. She is. So of course she was going to be asked out. Sooner or later, it was going to happen. She's lucky like that. I'm not. I'm not good looking enough to get asked out. I won't get asked out. Not based on looks alone. Not by a random girl who thinks I'm cute or attractive. It won't happen that way.
I get by on personality. Even then, I have to get to know the person first. I can't just go up to a random girl and start chatting them up. I'm too shy. I've done it once. Even then, I was nervous as hell. I can't do it again.
I'm a nervous, neurotic, paranoid worrier.
I trust very few people. I can't talk to randoms. If they start talking to me, fine. I can talk to them then. But before then... I can't do it.
I just need to accept the fact that I'm going to be alone for a very long time, and there won't be anything I can do about it.
I don't know any more.
Erebus
Pursue the Darkness
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