The truth.

She logged on today. She didn't message me. I knew she wouldn't. Not because I'm a defeatist, but because it's the truth. There's too much room for me to make mistakes. There's too many ways I can fuck up again. I'm not ready. I may not be ready for a very long time. And she knows that. She knows by talking to me before I'm ready... It will make things worse. It's difficult, but necessary. I've decided, once school starts, I'll listen to my ipod on shuffle. The 15th song to come on, I find the lyrics for and bold the lines that were most relevant to my day. For some songs it will be very vague, or I'll have to explain it and it will be very confusing. Or it will just be a very random song put in the middle of my post. I guess we'll find out how things turn out.