No Gordon. That's a good thing. Especially since I haven't done my homework. 3 900 word essays over 2 days? Unlikely to get done. They were originally optional. Now they're suddenly compulsory. And I haven't done them. Something tells me I'm going to be stuck at school late every night this week, just to get them done. Fuck that.
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Last night was... very odd. I was feeling like shit, said 'good night' to Linh and was ready for sleep when all of a sudden... I don't know. I had a tingling sensation on the outer layer of my skin all down my right side and suddenly... I was being crushed. I was being crushed by my own skin or in my own skin. It was terrifying.
And it wasn't like I was just scared, I shook my arm and it did nothing. Meaning I still felt like I was being crushed. I jolted upright and the sensation disappeared.
It was the weirdest thing I've ever experience. I'd rather not feel like that again. Everything just got so heavy that it crushed me. My thoughts. The whole world. Everything. Everything came rushing down on me and crushed me underneath it's weight.
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I'm feeling heaps better as compared to last night. But I know it will be back. It's always back. I'm just surprised it came on so strong last night. I worry for what I'm going to be like tonight. I won't do anything. I'll never do anything. But it hurts so much. It's almost unbearable.
I'm going to see Adam about it in period 5. Just means I miss out on another Business Management class.
I don't even know what I'd say. "I have an unhealthy obsession with being lonely and it gets me depressed"? That doesn't sound pathetic at all.
I guess I'll get Linh to explain it for me. I don't know. I guess we'll find out.
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