I think I'm going to cry.

I can't handle this. The thought of not being with her is painful. More than painful. Tormenting. I can't not contact her. But I have to. I keep making the same mistakes. I never learn. I'm an idiot. She deserves the best of the best. But I can't give it to her. I'm not worthy of her. I wish I was worthy. I wish I was a better person. But I'm not. And I hate myself for it. People are always saying "There are plenty of fish in the sea", but we all know it's bullshit. There's only been two people that I've ever fallen for, and those same two that have found me attractive. I can't handle it right now. I don't know what to do. I've been told to move on. Learn from my mistakes. I guess I'm not ready. I may never be ready. I don't know. I guess I'll find out.