Two dreams in one.

The first dream was truly amazing. We were on a school trip or something, similar to my Vietnam/Cambodia trip, except she was on it as well. We were stopped somewhere at the top of a small valley for lunch. Shannyn and I walked down to the bottom of the valley and just lay down next to each other and just talked for hours, about everything. She felt better about everything. The chemistry came back for her and everything was perfect. We hugged. We held each other. It was tangible. It was right. But then I woke up and was thrown into a second dream, similar to the first. We were on a trip together. Separate rooms. I didn't even realise she was there until towards the end. I saw her. I knew it was her. She was heading upstairs after lunch again. I called out for her to wait for me so we could talk. Talk about everything. Make her feel better about everything. Let her know I was worried about her mum as well. But that wasn't what happened. I called out to her and ran upstairs. I thought she'd gone up the next set of stairs, so I put my head down and kept going. Straight past her. She wasn't happy about that. She got pissed at me. I tried to apologise. I tried to tell her I was worried. It had no effect. She just got angrier and angrier at me until I gave up. Knowing me it would have been the second dream IRL and I would have just made things worse and worse for her. I'm a horrible person. I can't do anything right. She deserves the best of the best and no matter what I do, I know I can't give it to her. And that's what makes this that much more painful.